Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
