I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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