just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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