I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
