I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
