and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Let's get the cat blown out
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
