I got chris browned last night
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
