I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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