...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
