hell yes lets make some ravioli
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
