the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
