so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
