On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
