DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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