uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
