You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
