I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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