just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
