Sponge bath it is.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had to cum in my sink.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
