you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Randomize
