You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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