My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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