If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
