So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
the liver wants what the liver wants
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
