ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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