I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
