What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
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