I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
