guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
