then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
