I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
