But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
