Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
