he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
