just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
