The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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