I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
