Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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