i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
wow bdsm is so cute
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
