she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
