When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
