i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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