i think my tv is drunk
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
