He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Michael Bay diarrhea
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
