dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
