Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
