3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
