there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
