i already hear my dad disowning me
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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