I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
