bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
