I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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