That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
